Thursday Night's Study - Revised

Something that has affected me significantly:

This is not a specific event, but an action carried out day to day. I found, not surprisingly, that if I read the word as much as I could and constantly meditated on it that my entire life began to change.

Not only did it begin to change, but it continued to change.

I began to easily transition to Jesus, the Bible, and the things of God during conversations. I realized that we speak about what’s on our minds most (as long as it’s not shameful). If what you have to talk about is God, you’re a powerful instrument for him to use.

In one conversation I transitioned from water treatment techniques to the need for God in my life. It is the most exhilarating accomplishment when you do something as simple as talking to another person about his Creator.

I found that my studies gained depth. I learned with a greater understanding. I found it less difficult to hear God in my life.

BUT, It is easy to hear sermons over and over, to tell yourself that you know it all, and to become lax with your reading, your searching, and your walk. This is my struggle. I go back and forth.

Unfortunately, I found this great and awesome path and still choose to turn from it every once in awhile. It’s not a constant fire, but not because God skips out and isn’t faithful (1 Corinthians 1:9 God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.), but because of our own nature. I find other things and give them more focus than I give God.

I form idols out of everything else instead of looking to what is eternal and truly of benefit.

I lose my desire to read. I exchange my close walk with God for a distant one. I become deaf to his speaking. And I turn off the path. I don't lose my faith, but I do let it grow cool.

At that point, people talk to me about God and I’d speak in return with a shell of the excitement I could have had.

Naturally, my thoughts become more bitter than positive. I grow a little uncomfortable when my brother at my workplace asks me about my walk. I begin to see more negative in my job.

I try to spend time with friends to try to help my void. I attempt to smile when I don’t feel like it.

My joy and my definite sense of direction fail me. I couldn’t manufacture that by any means.

I truly believe that the void becomes even greater after you've filled it with God and let it drain down.

I look in many directions to solve my problems, but don’t stop to realize that my solution has been walking beside me the whole time. He was waiting for me to stop ignoring him so much.

I finally break free of my torments when I pick my Bible up again and don't read superficially as I had been, but instead give it my honest consideration and attention.

The interesting thing about the Word is that it won’t help you unless you give yourself over to it. At that point, the Word comes alive and speaks to your Spirit. It shines light into humanity's dark existence. It gives you your direction back. It is my hope.

Hoping without seeking is a waste of time.