Last Day

Today was my last day as a Youth Director. I've changed my profile occupation to indicate that very thing. It's a bitter sweet sensation. I'm sad that I'm leaving behind some great kids, I won't be teaching in the same way, and I won't have the responsibility to read the Bible to plan lessons twice a week. On the other hand, we're happy to be leaving behind some of the attitudes, we feel God's call in other directions, and I love to read what I want to read in the Bible without it being work. Maggie and I can go on vacations. Our vacation time won't be taken up by camps. We can sit in a Sunday school class and learn again. Stress load will take a dive. I don't like church to become a job and we headed that feeling off just as it began to set in.

There were three high schoolers there today, but they were three of my favorite kids: Cyndi, my most favorite (my little sister), Heidi, and Tyrel. These kids (and a few others) respected me and made me feel welcome. I appreciated that a great deal and always will. The lesson was on taking the things that God taught during my time and actually applying them, but it was a lot like preaching to the choir. Those kids have a great deal of spiritual maturity, love, and desire for God. They are the ones that made it all worth it. For them, I will miss the place of Youth Director.

Today, Pastor Larry asked me to teach a Thursday night adult Bible study. I accepted, though lacking in confidence. I know God will provide. It was a huge comfort to be asked to teach, because it let me know that my teaching days are not over. It's an amazing, exhilarating feeling to teach. I get to see God at work through the words he provides me.

I was actually a little afraid of the change, not knowing my future place in the church, but God is showing me new things now. I am certain that he will continue to take us and use us in his will wherever we go. There is life after Youth Directorship.

My faith and my fire are being rekindled, which came at the perfect time. Often, I would begin to lose sight of that passion while falling into the rhythm of planning lessons, delivering them, and never really trying to learn from them. I allowed myself to get caught up in the disappointment in the few kids that held no respect for me. That will hurt anybody if dwelled on. I wondered why some rejected my attempts to inspire them and beat myself up over it enough to put my fire down to a glowing ember. Now, however, I've learned some important lessons about relying on people to gauge my work. It's not about what the select few think, rather, it is about whether or not I'm doing God's will. If I'm in his will, it doesn't matter if the kids express dissatisfaction. In all likelihood, I've delivered the right lesson, but they won't allow themselves to receive it.

Though a rollercoaster, it was a moment in life that I will never regret. I love God and am excited to see what he'll do next.